Oh-oh-oprah

I have decided that this year I am going to record Oprah every day because this is her last year on the air and I figure the stories are going to be really good.  Last week I was watching an episode with Pam Smart and with every commercial Oprah kept telling us about this family that was the bravest family she has ever met (AND they were WHITE!) and how they had a miracle we just had to stay tuned for.  So I waited and waited all weekend to watch it and last night I watched it.  It was about a family who lost all three children in a car accident. I waited 30 minutes for the miracle, which I guessed because lets be honest, anyone could have guessed the miracle.  They had triplets a year after the accident.  What got my blood pumping though was not Oprah shedding tears, or her bringing it back to herself and how this story eventually was really just about her.  What got my blood pumping was at the end we find out that the family had over $291,000 in legal fees and Oprah shakes their hands and says, "Thank you for sharing your story."  AND DOESN'T GIVE THEM ANY MONEY!  In what planet does this make sense?  Pay their billls Oprah. For the love of God.  One of your shoes and one of your diamond earrings would have covered this! 

Mis-A-Lie-ND

So it's been awhile since I've blogged.  I've also been annoyed and stressed and my back has shooting pains running through it down my leg and I just spend $300 for a chiro to take xrays and tell me that I've been misaligned for over 25 years.  I can't even begin to explain the irony of that one.  Then he did a quick pop and that cost $25 and I still have shooting pains down my spine.  I could have had 4 massages at this point for what I just spent for that!  Now I have to go back two more times this week and if my back doesn't feel better by Friday, I'm going to lose it. How many times am I supposed to pay $25 for him to pop me for two seconds?  I could have had MASSAGES.  I get so bent out of shape when I am stressed...literally!  I'm bent out of shape. 

What size is your pretzel?

Saturday I decided that I needed to get my culture-on. It was a beautiful Saturday and it was open studio time in the South End.  I would like to fancy myself a cultured art person. I am a very creative person and I always have thousands of ideas streaming around my head of things I can do creatively.  So going to open studios always fuels this.  Ok, you caught me...I've only gone to open studios once in my life before.  But, I feel like open studios would fuel that.

So a friend and I decided to take the day to venture to open studios. It started with a beautiful sign outside that said "free parking".  You can't get much more artistic in the South End of Boston in my book than that.

When you walk into people's lofts and see their idea of art, it can always be a little challenging for someone as sarcastic as myself.  Especially someone who doesn't understand how a white canvas with a piece of hair on it at the MOMA can be considered contemporary art.  If that was contemporary art, you could call my purse art with the stuff you find in that on a daily basis.

At first, I went in thinking I would stand and look at people's work all serious..with my hand on my chin.  I would be quiet.  That lasted about 15 seconds until I realized that these artists were not only selling art; but they were giving away free food.  And it was like each artist was not only competing on their work and selling their work.  Yeah, yeah....any artist would tell you they are not competing. They are doing "their own thing"...WRONG.  You are always competing.  And how do I know this?  Because of the food.

All artists thought they needed to give out pretzels.  All. Of. Them.  Some had little pretzels. Some had full on pretzel sticks.  That is like the rich houses you go to on Halloween who give out full Snicker bars.  I totally bought a pair of earrings from the guys who also gave out the full pretzel sticks and starbursts.  All of them had hummus and spritzer water too.

We finally left after a couple of hours of art peeping, about 20 different postcards from artists that were also free, which I can in turn frame for free art and a stomach full of pretzels and I turned to my friend and said, "wow...there are a lot of white people here."

Honestly, I have to ask myself how some of these people afford to work in these studios. My guess.  Trust funds.  Not that these people aren't creative or that they don't derserve everything they have.  But honeslty, let's not kid ourselves thinking that cutting pictures from magazines and making framed pictures allows you to afford a loft like this.  If that is the case, I am doing something really really really wrong.  I thought it would have been funny to bring a fan into that studio. 

That is what I learned at open studios. That white people like art, pretzels, bubble water and overpriced canvases that make their exposed brick apartments more appealing.

3.5 years?

What does it mean when I walk into my bathroom and there is a broken mirror on my rug that I didn't actual drop?

If you can dream, you can pee.

I have had the same dream for awhile now. It's hard to know exactly how long this has been going on. It seems for the past month, I seem to have this dream a lot. Basically, no matter what the dream is about I always end up running to my bed to pee. In the dream I know that I should just go to the toilet but instead I have to pee in my bed.


I've looked up some analysis on this....at least the urination part and I like what I see.

"To urinate, as well as to defecate, in a dream is usually related to removing all that is wrong, unnecessary, excessive or not wanted in your waking life. All negative external or internal factors which keep you from achieving an emotional balance must be eliminated from your life - just like urine, which is naturally removed in order to cleanse, purify and detoxify your body.


Dreams of urination may also stand for changes, usually for the better, to follow in one's waking life. They may also illustrate one's determination to let go of a painful past and adopt a new lifestyle, changing one's old habits and way of thinking. Consequently, urination dreams may be a symbol for re-birth and revival. "


So basically I am letting go of all the negative in my life and jumping in my bed to do this. Let's not even go there right now why I am symbolically doing this in my bed.

This is why I will forever be single I think...this is an actual profile on okcupid.

i am a [[transgender]] bibliophiliac [[lesbian]]. (as a [[transdyke]], i am uninterested in dating men, so stop right here, loverboy.)
i am shy but enthusiastic, [[linguist]]ically-oriented, [[feminist]], [[imaginative]] and an exceedingly well traveled homebody. i have a sense of humour inherited from my [[irish-american]] father's side of the family: coarse, strong, but loving. i'm not afraid of showing affection and i stand up for my friends and family something fierce.

these profiles are so undemonstrative of our true personalities. maybe if you think i'm interesting, we should just talk. i don't know what to say on these things; it's hard to find the right words.


CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE HELL A TRANSGENDER BIBLIOPHILIAC LESBIAN TRANSDYKE IS!? I seriously don't even know if this is a woman or a man. I think a woman but am I wrong?  If I can't figure out what is under the sheets so to speak before I even read the profile, I'm pretty sure I should just move on to the next.

And what's up with everyone on okcupid being "bi".  Can't a woman just commit to being gay.  Just say you are gay. If you want to fuck a guy later that's fine, just commit when making a profile. 

Stop me in my tracks

Occasionally I will hear a song and it will just stop me in my tracks on what I am thinking about..and most likely overthinking about and just make me really happy and really hopeful.  Matt Nathanson's song "Come on Get Higher" does just that.  My opinions about dating have again taken a different turn the last couple of weeks and I am feeling more and more calm about things just naturally falling into place one day.  With each day and each date or girl, I am learning more and more what makes me tick, and what makes me tock.  (And I don't necesarrily love the tocking.)  My recovery period has been off the charts and I'm pretty stoked about that. 

However, I do sometimes get emotional and sensitive and romantic and this song describes how I felt today in the car.  There is one line in this song that pretty much sums up what I want someone to feel about me.  I'll let you figure out which line it is. 

I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water, If I could tell you what’s next
Make you believe, make you forget
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the sound of your voice
The loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet,
perfect words that you said