Things that annoy me...and should annoy you too.

1.  People who thank their hubby on facebook for taking care of things in the house when they are sick.  (That should just happen anyway).

2. People who say, "nice to meet you" on a conference call. 

3.  Voice acitvated text messaging. 

Tri-cycle

I get it Cambridge, you are whimsy. But this does not mean that is okay to ride your bike, with your two children attached to it.  I wanted to run you over this morning. I actually for a moment thought about running over a child because she was attached to your bicycle.  It is bad enough when I have to manuever around a tadem bicycle when there are no bike lanes, but when you add a third child to this, you are just asking for it. Really.  Don't you know people in cars have places to be.  I should have beeped at you. You were lucky this time. 

Tufts Shit

I work for a not for my profit organization that helps people with mental illness.  This same company offers really expensive insurance plans through Tufts with extermely high co pays.  Therefore, when I go to a therapist, it costs me $25 for 45 minutes and the entire time I'm complaning about my job. (And friends who think it's okay to date my ex girlfriends). 

I have also joined an 8 week support group for women who hate their jobs so each week I'll spend an additional $25 to listen to other women bitch about how much they hate their jobs.  I'll try it out but if I wanted to do this for free, I could probably just join a book club or something that straight women like to do.  And speaking of that, lesbian women never join straight clubs.  They always have to join gay clubs.  Once I had a friend tell me she wanted to join a bowling league (gay one) and a pool league (gay one).  And I digress...I'll save that for my $25 session.

Then I'll go to my other therapist which my insurance doesn't cover and pay $50 for 30 minutes explaining why I need to take drugs just so I can go into work and not cry.  Then I'll spend $50 a month for those drugs because my tufts insurance thinks these said drugs are Grey Goose of medicine. 

So, basically I spend about $400-$500 a month to take care of my mental issues.  Therefore, I need to keep the job that is making me mental just so I can afford to survive on a job that is making me mental.

Things that annoy me #4,569

Jennifer Hudson.  That commercial with her and Weight Watchers makes me want to dive into my freezer for my ice cream if losing weight means being anything like her.  She is like, "ohhhh oh ohh oh weight watchers."  "yayy ya ya aya, my liffffeeeeeeee is so much BEttterRRRRR."

This isn't Dream Girls, Jennifer.  Do me a favor please and go eat your collard greens and stop making me feel bad about eating ice cream everynight.

Ambilifinally

I was put on mood stabilizers for about a month. I was feeling overwhelmed, angry, irritated (just pretend you are having PMS times 50). I was also in an apartment I hated, a relationship that wasn't working unfortunatley and a job I am not a huge fan of.  As I started taking the meds and not being able to sleep and feeling completley shaky and restless but also calm and clearheaded I had to ask myself, "do I really want to control my moods this much?"  I like being a passionate peson but I also like my sleep. And I also could do without meds that people with schizophrenia take.  Just sayin.  So therefore, I am going off my mood stabilizers and I'm going to see if a new apartment, a new job and some new outlooks can do the trick just the same.  And if not, give em' back to me doc. 

Serial Dieter

Sometimes I wonder why I don't lose that 1 inch in 2 weeks that Kellogg's Special K promises me if I eat a bowl of ceral for breakfast and a bowl of ceral for lunch.

Do you think the problem is I eat almost the whole box in those two bowls?

10 Things I Learned in Hawaii

1.  When you walk into your parents room with the door open make sure your mom put clothes on after the shower.

2.  When you are swimming and almost drown, make sure you check to see that your tampon string is still in tact.

3.  When you decide to go to a Luau, make sure you have all long overdue family issues out in the open BEFORE you eat.

4.  When putting on the spray sunscreen, make sure you actually rub it in or you will get a sunburn that looks like the outline of the United States of America.

5.  When riding on a boat don't tell too many people because you will end up with too much ginger root and dramamine.

6. When traveling with your family and you see lots of roosters, refrain from making too many cock jokes if possible as it will get old.

7.  Make sure that at least two people get the same exact picture in the hopes that at least one person got a good shot.

8.  Be aware that each time you stop at a fruit stand or farmer's market, you will spend at least $40.

9.  If you see a sea turtle, just know you are going to want to touch it no matter if you are supposed to or not.  However, do not try to hug it or it will swim away.

10.  Contrary to what the waiter says the sailfish is actually the fastest fish in the ocean and NOT the opah.