Laura Goldberg

Laura Goldberg

Thursday, February 23, 2012

What I'm Giving Up For Lent(il)

It's happening again.  I have decided to become a vegan for a couple of months to see if this changes anything about my body. Mostly, I would like to change the inside of my body and how I digest food but I won't get into the specifics of this.  I am combining my vegan diet with at least 5 days at the gym a week doing at least a one hour workout. So far, so good.  I am on day three and I have eaten really healthy foods with no cravings for anything bad for me.  And while nobody would ever notice a change to my body type yet, I can feel a bit of change in my stomach when I touch it.  Slightly.  I am talking really slightly.  However, I know big improvements are coming my way.  They have to!  If I am to give up fried foods, and ice cream and eggs and butter and work out all this time, I better see some changes.

I also did 30 girl pushups at the gym last night.  I need to slowly get myself back into doing the real ones. I can't believe how weak I have gotten in the past few years.  My ultimate goal is to get my boobs to shrink by tightening my pectoral muscles so fingers crossed for this!  I would for once like to put my arms to the side without my boobs getting squished.

When I am on the elliptical for an hour I make up stories about my life.  Yesterday, I had just won $36 million dollars.  I decided to move to Hawaii and hire a personal trainer for $80,000 for 6 months to work solely on me.  He would help me train to get my body to look like Jenifer Aniston's body. I would also hire a nutritionist.  I wouldn't go home for 6 months and I would lose like 40 pounds of fat and gain beautiful muscles.  Then I would come home so people could see my body and how strong I am and then I would travel more. Before I knew it, my hour was up!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Oscar and The Grouch Take 8: Laura's Oscar Predictions

Oscar and Grouch Part 8 (I think):  Laura’s Oscar Predictions
This has been a busy year for me, with getting Fred and all. I didn’t have as much time to go to the movies because I didn’t want to leave him in the crate.  (Coincidentally, this was also my excuse for not going to the gym, going to the grocery store or just leaving the house in general).  Alas, there are many nominated movies that I didn’t get to see this year, I’m sad to say.  Also, there are a few that I saw awhile ago, one I fell asleep watching and one I refused to go see based on other people’s reviews. 

Is it me, or are the nominations this year kind of boring?  Brad Pitt?  George Clooney?  We’ve seen this a thousand times.  And based on the Academy’s love of her, I’m very surprised Amy Adams wasn’t nominated for her role in The Muppets.  And honestly, I’m very surprised that Judi Dench didn’t get a nomination for J. Edgar Hoover.  Also, where are the Brits this year?  I guess the Academy decided that instead of them this year, they would nominate the people who didn’t speak or are over the age of 80.  Or in some cases, don’t speak and are also over the age of 80.

Enjoy my predictions.  And enjoy the show this Sunday, February 26th!  

Demian Bichir for a Better Life:  It bothers me when there are articles saying that this guy “replaced” someone else in this category. He is in this category because he deserves to be in this category.  This was a small movie that packed a big punch.  It made me think about how things work in this country when it comes to immigration. It’s a really sad movie.  And Demian played the part really well.  This is the same guy who played Esteban on Weeds and this character couldn’t be more opposite.  He won’t win but congratulations for making it to this category. 

George Clooney for the Descendants:  I really loved this movie.  I really loved George Clooney in this movie. Is it Oscar worthy?  I’m on the fence about this.  I think there were a lot of scenes that really depicted the range he has as an actor but at the same time, he has played this role before.  He is definitely a top contender for this award.  And I’m thinking he is going to win.

Jean Dujardin for the Artist:  I loved this movie.  It was my favorite of the year.  It was just so cute and simple and heartwarming.  This movie reminded me that sometimes you can say the most by just using facial expressions.  (I happen to be very good at this talent.  Seriously, ask any of my exes).  I think Jean deserves the Oscar for this role.  I really want him to get it.  Not just because he is adorable and French but because he deserves it.  I knew what he was thinking and feeling the entire movie and he didn’t have to say a word.  I’m rooting for him.

Gary Oldman for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy:  I had no desire to see this movie.  Everyone I know that saw this movie thought it was very boring.  Therefore, I can’t really say anything more about this except the only thing about this movie that seemed appealing at all was trying to say the title fast five times in a row.  Also, does anyone else have a hard time naming five movies Gary Oldman has been in? I mean I know he is a great actor an all but I can’t name a single movie he has been in.  It’s weird.  It’s always been this way for Gary Oldman.  I also get him confused with Stanley Tucci all the time.  Am I the only one?  Probably.

Brad Pitt for Moneyball:  This guy again?  I fell asleep watching this movie. I’m sure it was good but it just didn’t really send me that’s all.  And why the nomination?  That I don’t understand.   Does this have something to do with his charity in New Orleans? Is this because he is good friends with Ellen Degeneres?  Is it so Angelina shows up to the red carpet?  Honestly, I don’t get it. Because I don’t think it has anything at all to do with his acting because it wasn’t anything special in my book.

Actor in a Supporting Role:
Who Will Win:  Christopher Plummer
Who Should Win:  Nobody
Who Got Robbed:  Every other actor in every movie besides these

This could possibly be the category that I have cared the least about in the eight years I’ve been writing these predictions.  I don’t really have anything good to say about any of this.  Not because I think these guys did a bad job, but I just feel there must have been some better choices out there this year.  There must have been!  Jim Broadbent as Denis Thatcher for example in The Iron Lady?

Kenneth Branagh for My Week With Marilyn:  Unfortunately, this is one of the movies that I didn’t get to see and I’m sad about it.  I will have to wait for it to come out on DVD.  Therefore, I can’t really comment on the acting.  However, why does it matter, everyone has already made up their minds that Christopher Plummer is going to win. 

Jonah Hill for Moneyball:  No.  Enough said. Actually, no I need to say more. What in the hell is he doing in this category?  He hasn’t proven to me that he is talented enough for this yet.  He is like one of those annoying guys who talks over you and never lets you get a word in and thinks he is so cool but actually just looks like an IT nerd that you want to fix your printer.

Nick Nolte for Warrior:  ????  I’ll give him credit for being an ok actor because he did a good job in The Prince of Tides with my girl Babs but this is just the weirdest nomination ever. 

Christopher Plummer for Beginners:  He will win.  Why?  I have no idea.  I watched this movie and the whole time, I kept looking at the timer to see when it would be over and when it would start to get good. I thought it was boring.  I think the idea of the movie was cute and Christopher Plummer was cute in it but I am not sure what all the fuss is about.  Is it because he is playing an older man who is gay?  Is it because he dies?  I don’t get it. 

Max von Sydow in Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close:  Again, I’m sad I haven’t seen this movie and I can’t comment on the acting.  I heard through the grapevine though that he also doesn’t speak in this role.  I understand that he is also an old actor or excuse me, a “veteran” actor and that it is his time.  But, Christopher Plummer will get it.  So these two oldies can just fight it out.  I don’t really care.  I might go to the bathroom during this time anyway.

Actress in a Leading Role:
Who Will Win:  Meryl Streep
Who Should Win:  Meryl Streep
Who Got Robbed:  Nobody.  I’m sick of all the reviewers saying that Tilda Swinton got robbed.  Honestly, who wants to see her dressed up anyway.  It is always despicably horrible. 

Glenn Close in Albert Nobbs:  I couldn’t have been more excited for this movie. When I saw the preview, I was just dying for it to come out.  I saw it opening weekend and I left feeling bummed.  The movie acting as a whole was great.  Everyone did a really great job.  But the movie.  Well.  It was just weird.  And the character of Albert Nobbs.  Well.  I just couldn’t really feel for her/him.  She did a great job portraying a male.  But, I didn’t feel for the character so for me, I am going to say she won’t win. 

Viola Davis for The Help:  She was terrific in this movie from the beginning to the end.  This was a character I could really feel for.  I think it is between her and Meryl Streep for the award.  Of course, I’m going to give it to Ms. Streep but that is for later.  Back to Viola.  My favorite scenes in this movie were when she was talking to the child she was a nanny for.  I thought it was so heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.  This movie followed the book to a T and Viola played her character exactly like I thought she would be as I read the book.  I’ll be happy if she wins but a bit disappointed for the Streepinator. 

Rooney Mara for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo:  I loved this book series.  I loved the Swedish versions of these movies.  When I heard that they were making an American version, I was totally pissed.  When I heard that the girl from The Social Network was going to be Lizbeth, I was like, “Uh ok. At least it isn’t Angelina Jolie.”  However, when I saw the preview for this movie, I was so excited because it looked amazing.  And. It. Was.  The movie was just as exciting as the orginial. And while NOBODY can replace Noomi Rapace in this role, Rooney Mara came close.  She was terrific.  I would be happy if she won the award but there is no way she will.  But props to her.  I mean, Rooney had to dye her eyebrows blonde for this role and get two nipple piercings!!  Can you imagine?  The horror.   At least about the eyebrows.

Michelle Williams for My Week With Marilyn:  Again, why didn’t I see this movie?  I think she would have a great chance at winning if this category wasn’t filled with other terrific women.  I am in love with Marilyn Monroe and I can’t imagine another actress who could have looked and sounded like her besides Michelle Williams. This is what, Michelle’s third nomination?  I think she has claimed her stake as a talented actress.  No doubt one day she will win one, it just won’t be this one. 

Meryl  “If she doesn’t win I give up” Streep:  Let’s recap for a second here.  1995 she was robbed for Bridges of Madison County.  Don’t get me started on this again.  2009 Julie and Julia she was robbed again.  (Although I really did love Sandra Bullock in the Blind Side).  And I agree that she should have been nominated in 2006 for The Devil Wears Prada and in 2008 for Doubt but I understand why she didn’t win.  HOWEVER, this is the year she needs to win her third Oscar.  She was just amazing as Margaret Thatcher. The movie itself, was just so so.  But from the moment she came on screen, I thought she WAS Margaret Thatcher.  You can give props to the makeup and costume team for this but it is Meryl Streep who made the character come to life.  She nailed the voice, the walk, the attitude, the personality, the happiness and the sadness of Margaret Thatcher.  She needs to win.  For the love of god, she needs to win.  Also, take a step back and think about the name Meryl.  Have you ever heard of that before for a woman?  Just a thought to take with you.

Actress in a Supporting Role:
Who Will Win:  Octavia Spencer
Who Should Win:  Jessica Chastain
Who Got Robbed:  Bryce Dallas Howard for The Help and Shailene Woodley for The Descendants

Berenice Bejo for The Artist:  Love this movie.  Love her in it.  Just like Jean Dujardin, I knew her every emotion and she didn’t have to say a word.  I’d say she deserves the award if it wasn’t for “The Help” of a couple of other really talented actresses. 

Jessica Chastain for The Help:  I want her to win.  She deserves it. However, it’s going to be her cast mate Octavia who picks up the Oscar this year I say.  I just think Jessica played the part of Celia perfectly.  I could really feel for her character and she was one of the only white characters in this movie who you could cheer for.  Her character was color blind, and just wanted to fit in like everyone else.  She might not win this year, but look out for her in years to come.

Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids:  Great nomination.  She was hilarious in this movie.  And before you go on and on about how comedic actresses never get nominated, let’s not forget that Renee Zellweger was nominated for Bridget Jones Diary.  She obviously won’t win, but good for her! 

Janet McTeer for Albert Nobbs:  I was so sure when I saw the preview and first read all the reviews of Albert Nobbs, that she would win for this role.  But after seeing the movie, I don’t think this could happen.  I mean, she did a good job playing a woman who lives as a man.  And how did they cover up those huge jugs of hers in costume????  If someone can help me do that to mine, I would be forever grateful.  You know, without the duct tape and all.

Octavia Spencer for The Help:  Yup. She took a shit in a pie and made Hilly eat it.  That is awesome.  Hilly was a bitch and deserved it. She also taught Ceclia how to cook fried chicken.  I think she was great in this role, but I am just so in love with Jessica Chastain in this movie that it’s hard not to be biased here.  I think Octavia will win it.  I’ll be okay with that.

Best Picture:
Who Will Win:  The Artist
Who Should Win:  The Artist
Who Got Robbed:  Wow, this is a toss up between Jack and Jill and Transformers 3.  Really nobody was robbed because The Artist deserves is among all movies this year

The Artist:  This needs to win.  It will win.  A black and white silent film in 2012 which shows us that simplicity can prevail after all.

The Descendants:  This would be my second choice to win.  I really did love this movie.  I think everyone in this film did a great job.  Even Judy Greer, who usually plays the annoying sarcastic friend who is always unlucky in love in comedies. 

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close:  I haven’t seen this yet.  Did the kid in the movie talk about his “heavy boots” as much as he did in the book?  That was the one part of the book that absolutely drove me nuts.  So if he did, I would probably give the movie a B-.

The Help: This would be my third choice to win.  This was probably one of the strongest casts in films in a very long time. 

Hugo:  I haven’t seen it but I want to.  Let’s just assume that Martin Scorsese will win for directing.  That is enough.  I don’t really want to hear him talk more than once in the evening anyway.

Midnight in Paris:  I would love this movie to win for best original screenplay.  Unfortunately, Woody Allen is still suffering from the whole sleeping with his stepdaughter thing and the academy isn’t taking him seriously.  This was such an original and creative movie.  Plus, it doesn’t hurt that I’m totally addicted to the 1920’s lately. 

Moneyball:  No. Enough said.  I don’t care that it took ten years to make this film, Brad. I really don’t.

The Tree of Life:  I haven’t seen this.  Some reviewers say it should win. Isn’t Brad Pitt in this too?  It doesn’t stand a chance.  Even if Jessica Chastain was in it and I’m sure was fantastic.  This won’t win. 

War Horse:  I really liked this movie.  Maybe it is because I am also addicted to war movies and animals.  This was supposed to be the movie spectacle of the year but as I said before, I think people weren’t really looking for a spectacle this year. 

Just some other things:
1)       1)  A Separation.  I heard this movie was amazing. It will definitely win for best foreign film. 
2)       2) Costume design always goes to those timely pieces so Anonymous will probably win.
3)       3) Makeup should be Iron Lady for making it the one character in any movie that didn't bother me because of the gap in her teeth. 
44    4) The camera will turn to Angelina looking at Brad no less than ten times.