Laura Goldberg

Laura Goldberg

Monday, June 29, 2009

This is kinda fun

A. Apples are amazing. I love eating them. I love apple pie. I love applesauce
and applejuice.
B. Bangs. I had them a few years ago and did not like them on me. It took over a
year to grow them back. I love my hair now.
C. Cancer. I sometimes miss working on the breast cancer walks because i miss
the closeness feeling of being around good people all the time.
D. Dog. I want a boxer and I want to name her Femur after the coolest sounding bone in the body. I really want to name her Fiero from Wicked but that isn't a girl name.
E. Emily is my younger sister's name. She wants me to write a one-woman show. I think she should help co-write it.
F. Funny. I think I am really funny. I love making people laugh.
G. God? Sure. Why not.
H. Highways. They make me very nervous. So much so that I will stay home rather than get in a car. Working on it and I am much better now.
I. Ice cream is my favorite. I love it. Soft serve. Hard serve. Anything. But not chocolate or coffee so much. I prefer chocolate chip, black raspberry or mint chocolate chip.
J. Jews. I love making Jewish jokes.
K. Kentucky. Nope never been there. But would like to. Also would like to drive cross country not on any highways.
L. Lobster. I grew up in NH and never ate it. My ex had me try it a few years ago and now I am hooked. I am trying lots of new foods now.
M. My pet of them. When people don't remember things I tell them. Is it that hard to listen to somebody? It is so important to me to know that people listen. Why bother talking otherwise.
N. New Hampshire. Where I am from and where I see myself living again one day. In a nice house with a large yard for Femur-Fiero.
O. Orange juice. I've always told myself I would be more centered if I could drink a glass of orange juice everyday. Haven't managed to do that yet. So, I'm always a little off kilter. ;)
P. Photography. I love taking pictures. I think pictures are a way to a person's soul. I feel like I have a talent for noticing details others miss.
Q. Quirky. I do have a lot of quirky little habits. It's because I have OCD. I like when people think they are quirky habits rather than annoying. It makes me feel better when I am called quirky.
R. Rent. I am not a huge fan of this musical. It's annyoing when lesbians don't know a lot about musicals but they love this one.
S. Sugar. I love eating anything with sugar. Any dessert. Even key lime pie. I love dessert. I eat it every night. My day isn't the same if I don't.
T. Tapas. Don't really eat them but I suppose I could. I like big meals. I eat a lot.
U. Urgh. Say this a lot. Especially when I hear anyone over the age of 10 say daddy. It actually gives me the creeps.
V. Vacation. I am excited about Iceland. I have been thinking about going there for years and I am proud that I took the plunge.
W. Work. I have a good work ethic. I believe in hard work. I believe in just doing it and doing it well. No need for excessive patting and making people feel good. Just do your work. And if you don't, get out.
X. Yup. Have a few of those. And no, not friends with them nor will I ever be.
Y. Because.
Z. Zoos. They make me happy but also sad. I don't like to see caged animals. If you look an amimal in the eye that is caged, there is something missing. I love looking into eyes of people and animals.

2 more things

I forgot.
1. I LOVE fireworks and parades and music.
2. You bet I fucking do.

The whole 25 thing

I never did the "get to know 25 things about me thing" that was on fb so I decided I'll do it here on my blog. Considering only about 10 people read it, what harm can that do. ;)

1. I love goslings. They make me so happy I can't even stand it.
2. I love singing musicals. I listen to musicals all day and pretty know most words to all the songs.
3. I wish I could work on Broadway in some capacity.
4. I love to say the word "fucking". I try to include it at least once a day in my vocabulary.
5. I want to be a nurse.
6. I really have never been happy with my jobs. I am currently content. Or ok at most.
7. I would like to finally start writing my book. I have two titles. And I think about it everyday. I don't know what is stopping me.
8. I am super creative.
9. I can't believe I just used the word super.
10. I can't stand when people use the term super cute.
11. I have a lot of pet peeves.
12. I really just want to be loved.
13. I want kids. I want a dog.
14. Knows Mitzi will make fun of me for number 12.
15. Buffets are my favorite food.
16. I've been to Eygpt.
17. I remember so many details and pay attention to everything. I am always aware of my environment.
18. I believe it is very important to remember people's names.
19. I don't drink very much because I can't.
20. Hopes oneday I won't have to be judged by the fact that I don't drink very much and people see that I am really fun to be around anyway.
21. Worries about what people think of me.
22. I wish I didn't.
23. I cry a lot.
24. I laugh a lot.
25. I am fucking done with this blog post.

Friday, June 26, 2009

I don't have time for dirty whores and pedophiles

All I have to say is thank god I like country music. When I got into my car this morning to drive to work, all that was on my radio station was MJ. "Don't stop til you get enough." "Beat it". Um...are the djs listening to the words? Don't they get it? So, I went to my number 1 preset...102.5. And was there MJ? Of course not! So that's where I stayed.

Don't get me wrong. I think MJ was an amazing entertainer. He had great music. We will always love his music. He will always be an icon. But can we just take a few moments to look at his personal life. How do I sum it up? Um...does crazy work? How about a kid diddler? Or maybe mental case? Let's try millions in debt for buying gold toilets? And I know he was never convicted of the kid diddling but really? Is anyone doubting that? He paid people off. And you know what, maybe those families are better off having the diddler money so they can get their kids some real therapy and a chance at a normal life.

And poor Farrah Fawcett. What did she die of? Oh, anal cancer. Sad. Sadder, that she is being called "courageous" with her battle. Do you know who is courageous. The thousands of people each day who fight cancer, and raise a family and do it without the fame and "fortune". What did Farrah do to better the world in terms of cancer? Did she speak out against how she got anal cancer and how to prevent it? No. Dirty whore. hahaha. Teasing. But fun to say nevertheless. Did she give money to a cancer ward at a hospital? No. Did she help families in need by opening up the "Let's rectumfy cancer fund" Get it. Haha. No she didn't. She made a NBC special. And now, is below Megan Fox's hairdo on in terms of newsworth.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Wonder what I am doing.

I wonder what I am getting ready for tomorrow night. I still get to enjoy my turkey on white bread for one more day before I go on a clear liquid diet tomorrow.

Piece of crap

So the rain isn't helping my disgusting neighbor. I really need to buy this piece of crap a trashcan. I bought two but they were both stolen. But I think the time has come again. My neighbor likes to put his trash out and then let the raccoons come and eat the bags. Then, he thinks that if he takes the bag out on Sundays its okay. He however forgets that he left little pieces of trash like chicken bones out on the ground. Then it rains.

Oh, and my anger might make more sense if I tell you that one night he was drunk and threw a chair through my living room window. Yeah, he still lives there. Piece of crap.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Word of the day

Word of the day I can't stand: Truly
Word of the day I like: Loathing

So to recap. It is loathing to me when people say things like, "I truly want you to know how important you are to me."

This week is a shit show!

My colonscopy is on Thursday and I am in "prep" mode which totally blows because I can hardly eat anything. Wednesday is my clear liquid diet day which should be loads of fun. Except I can eat jello so that is good. I am so hungry right now and I can't even eat the rice cakes at my desk!

Today for lunch I have turkey on white bread. So in about two hours I can going to be scraping the roof of my mouth to get the bread off. For breakfast I had a yogurt. I am not supposed to be eating dairy but really now....what the hell am I supposed to do if I can't eat dairy. And I don't think I am lactose intolerant anyway. I think I am just really stressed and anxious all the time.

Tonight I am going shopping for Wednesday supplies. Looking forward to it. Currently, I am trying to figure out how I can move my tv to the hallway so at least I can watch So You Think You Can Dance.

Friday, June 19, 2009


So my task for the next couple of weeks is to mark down everytime I have a negative thought...and it seems impossible. check.

Here is my list so far as of today. Notice there are no checkmarks. I am so bad at marking them down in the book. check. But I will try.

I will post a new photo later with the progress.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Things that annoy me...number I have no idea

Do you know what I hate more than being threatened? Being ignored. And caring about it when the other person doesn't. That is what I hate. I don't know why I bother sometimes.

Monday, June 15, 2009

The year is almost half over....let's see my progress.

These were my new years resolutions. Let's see where I am shall we?

1. Dance to at least three songs everyday in my living room with the music on full blast. Preferably at around 1am to annoy my upstairs neighbor who thinks it is fun to throw his trash in my yard and make spaghettios for dinner every night which I can smell.

(Ok. I have not been dancing everyday. I have however gotten even more annoyed with my upstairs neighbor and resorted yesterday to screaming, "clean up your fucking chicken bones!!! really loud while using a shovel to scoop up his trash.")

2. Eat more spaghettios so my upstairs neighbor can smell them.
(No. I have not done that. However, he is eating many more chicken bones.)

3. Complain about my car only once a day rather than three times.
(I think I am keeping that one ok.)

4. Take all of memory boxes out and organize them and throw out the memories I don't want to keep anymore.

5. Limit myself to one memory box a year.

6. Laugh at myself at least twice a day. Laugh at other people at least ten times a day.

7. Find a ALF t-shirt.
(Still looking!)

8. Bake more.
(Balls! I need to do that.)

9. Get a flat screen TV.
(Nope. After Iceland.)

10. Go to Iceland.
(Woo Hoo!!! In July.)

11. Grow my hair so I can put it in cute ponytails.
(Did that.)

12. Cut my hair while I am growing it because it is driving me crazy.
(Did that.)

13. Curse myself for cutting my hair before I could get it in cute ponytails.
(Yup. But now I like it.)

14. Dye it black.
(Nah. Not for summer.)

15. Ask someone out on a date.
(I suppose I did a very round about way.)

16. Not an imaginary person.
(Nope. She is real.)

17. Try sushi. *This is still up in the air. I am not sure I am ready for that step in my life.
(I did it once. )

8 things i learned while not eating dairy

1. Fuck that.
2. All soy and no dairy makes Laura a sour girl.
3. Salad without feta isn't the same.
4. There is dairy in everything. Even kettle corn popcorn.
5. It didn't make a difference. I am getting a colonoscopy anyway. (report to follow)
6. I might want to refrain from saying things like this at work during the CEO birthday party where there was my favorite carrot cake, "I don't know if I am lactose intolerant. But, I am defintely intolerant of other things!"
7. I am still supposed to not eat dairy but I can't help it.
8. Be careful when eating my mom's food especially when she says, "oh, yeah...there is dairy in that. but only a little, laura!"

It's been way too long!

After a series of white trash ex-girlfriend episodes this winter, I decided to refrain from writing in my blog. I needed a little break from it. However, I am back and ready to write again about the wonders of our little world and ponder why the fuck people are crazy.

I won't dig deep into the white trash route 1 Paradise dance club in Saugus shit that happened to me yesterday at the JP block party. There is no need to go into those details. But it made me realize how much better my life is right now then it was a year ago and I am so much happier for that.

I have a great girlfriend. I have a job. I have friends. I am going on a awesome trip in one month. And I know I have to be positive, but really there is just way too much crazy shit that happens for me to not write about it.

So, Laura is back. Sort of.