Laura Goldberg

Laura Goldberg

Sunday, October 19, 2008


I tried putting the plastic on my windows tonight while watching the Red Sox game.  I didn't think it was going to take so long to do one window.  I guess my windows are bigger than average windows because I here I was thinking that everything was going okay and this was actually going to work until I realized there was an inch and a half gap at the bottom of the window.

I contemplated just not worrying about it but quickly realized that would pretty much defeat the whole purpose of putting the plastic up in the first place. So, I thought I would use my super strength brain and cut another piece and tape them together.

Not as easy as it sounds.  The tape stuck all over the place so now when you reach the bottom of my window, there are two small holes (and this is after blowdrying for half an hour).  So, I'm about to go walk to my car and get the duct tape which I no longer need for my windshield wipers and just duct tape the holes.

I also blew a fuse which:
a.  left me in complete darkness
b.  stopped the taping of all my shows

Here comes winter.  I'm exhausted already.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Rachel Zoe Project

Did Rachel Zoe dress the candidates tonight?  That was so cool how McCain had a blue tie and Obama had a red tie and then Cindy had a red dress and Michelle had a blue dress on.  Oohhhhh. Well, Rachel needs to let Cindy know that if it wasn't for her blonde (?) hair she would have blended completely into the carpet.  

Speaking of the carpet, where was the guy who vacuums the floor?  Did Joe take over his job?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Eliza Doolittle.

You know what annoys me?  People who use the word lovely to describe things.  Things that just aren't lovely.  My old boss, Ms. Do Nothing for $90K a year used to say it all the time.  Oh, she is so lovely.  Isn't this room lovely?  Laura, don't you think this is a lovely place?  

No!  Things are not lovely.  They are nice.  They are great.  They are fantastic.  They are pretty.  But, they are not lovely.  Unless it is 1955 and we are talking about my mother's apple pie.  

Parton Me?

Do you know what just makes me really happy?  I mean, no matter what I am doing I stop and smile?  

The Target commercial with Dolly singing.  It just makes me really happy.


So I decided to register for my birthday.

Included are:  
1.  a drum set
2.  benefiber
3.  batteries
4.  a camera
5.  photo paper
6.  turkey jerky

I am turning 32 and I figure I have never been able to register for an engagement or a marriage or a kid, so why not get some of the things I like., this party is not like Carrie Bradshaw.  Carrie was annoying.  I am awesome.  

Not Gold

If the question is did a silverfish just run across my living room and for a moment I thought it was a mouse because it was that big, then the answer is yes.

Monday, October 6, 2008


This is what is wrong with America.  

I made pumpkin bread tonight.  I went to the store and bought all my ingredients.  I got home and realized I forgot the pumpkin.  I walked to the corner pumpkin. I walked to CVS thinking there would be pumpkin.  I went back to grocery store.

On my way out, three rather large ladies from the grocery store Citizens Bank were standing outside smoking.  This is what I overheard. "I'm on a diet. I am starving myself.  All I ate today was a lean pocket."

That, my what is wrong with America.  Lean pockets and people who think eating them will help them lose weight.  

Cut it out! Or off!

I think my self esteem is in direct proportion to me needing a haircut.  The more time I have playing with my split ends, the more I realize I need to work on my self esteem.  

Or I need a better shampoo.  I went for the cheap Dove shampoo and conditioner but I think it's time to go back to Neutrogena.  


This is just a random thought that popped into my head this weekend.  Sarah Palin and I were talking and she thought of this too.  

Is there a 160 maximum character limit on phones in China?  Because if so...they wouldn't be able to say very much.  Doesn't it take a lot more letters to say things in Chinese?  

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Things I learned Watching the "Debate"

1. You don't actually have to answer the question asked. Especially if you are a maverick.
2. Americans are dumber than I orginally thought if they think that because Palin didn't
"mess" things up, that she is ready.
3. I actually want a leader who is smarter than me....not equal to me. If she was equal to me, then I could do it.
4. Jodi Foster and Mel Gibson were mavericks in that movie. That was a great movie.
5. Joe Six Pack and Soccer Mom are going to screw this up for us.
6. Babies, no matter what their disability, should be in bed before 8.
7. I want the job of the guy who vaccuums the carpet. He had the most press coverage on CNN tonight than anyone.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Sleep Eating Disorder

I saw a sign on the subway today about a sleep eating disorder study.  You can get paid $300 for 10 lab study sessions about eating and sleep walking or something.  Sounds amazing.  Truly amazing.  

There is a study for everything.  This will most certainly lead to obesity.  Except, if you walk in your sleep, then I guess you are losing calories after you eat.  So, really this might be the new exercise craze.  

Hit It, Smack It, Slam IT Down!

If the question is did someone actually send me an email today telling me not to chew gum in a meeting, then the answer would be yes.