Laura Goldberg

Laura Goldberg

Thursday, December 30, 2010


Every year I come up with a list of resolutions I want to make for the New Year.  It's been a trying couple of months for me and I am so ready for the New Year. However, I haven't done my resolutions yet.  Tonight, the eve of the new year, I had a fun night. Perfect in my book. A movie, good food and some music and in bed reading by 10:30.  And I thought to myself while washing the eye liner off my face...

New Years resolutions should be sort of like getting your car inspected.  You should have 7 days after the first of the year to actually go in and get inspected.  So, technically, I have another week to inspect myself and decide what I want to do for my resolutions.  Tonight, I am just going to rest.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Wonder in Winterland

It's that time of year again when people get all excited about the falling white snow and Christmas and winter.  The time of year that people see snow and think to themselves rational thoughts like, "i can't wait to build a snowman" or "nice, i get to take out my skiis".  Or even things like, "it is going to be so pretty! I can't wait for it to snow."  Basically, it's everyone's winter wonderland of fun and good times.

It's that time of year again for Laura to completely go off her rocker at the thought of snow.  The time of year when I think to myself, "why do i live here?"  "how am I ever going to get through another winter worrying about the snow"  "it is going to be so hard for me to mentally handle this again this year."

People who don't suffer the way I do won't ever really understand what I go through in my brain.  And I hide it from basically everyone anyway so nobody can ever truly understand how I basically put myself in a paralyzed state of fear of the very thought of snow.  It's not normal or at all rational and I totally know this but I can't help it.  The idea of driving in the snow (even in my new SUV) scares me.  It scares me so much I could just cry. It's not something I can laugh at. It actually affects every aspect of my life.  I can't drive to work. I get migraines.  I can't drive to see friends.  I can't plan anything because what if it snows???!  I see a flake and my brain goes into overdrive and all I see is car crashes and people I love dying and me losing control of the wheel. 

So now, this December I have to wonder.  Why do I live in this winterland?  And how can I get through this year with a little less fear. 

Anxiety pills!!!!!  So here's to you Lexapro. Start working your magic on my nutzo seratonin brain.  Because I have things to do and places to go and yes...even snow to drive in.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


What is with all the television commericals with people dressed up like food!? Really?  It started years ago with Fruit of the Loom underwear and the guys dressed up like fruit.  Now, I suppose years ago that was creative and it was before the whole "it's cool to be gay" stuff came out in movies and tv and commericals.  But they have just taken this to a whole new level of ridiculous.

Now, we have Jimmy Dean dressed like a sun, and thunder and lightning and a raindrop.  We have a child dressed up like Manwhich sandwich.  We have fathers and sons dressed up like Burker King whoppers.

Is it just me or do seeing all these people dressed up just make you NOT want to eat this food. 

Unless someone was dressed up like my mother's brisket, an alaskian king crab claw or plate of pad thai (three of my favorite foods), seriously, I don't want to see this anymore.

Monday, December 13, 2010

12 days til Xmas: Jewz-A-Clause Tip #3

When you buy a Yankee swap gift, get something nobody will want.  That way, when you get another gift, you can trade with the person and then that person thinks you are amazing and you look like a team player.  Then you can just return the gift the next day and no money has been spent. 

H stands for huh?

The Coen (not cohen) brothers are up to it again and this time wow what a surprise...right in time for award season.  Therefore, I need to ammend my earlier GG predictions and add freaking True Grit to the list of nominations.  I suppose best actor for Jeff Bridges and if Matt Damon gets one, that will be even more insane than is Inviction nom. It might even be up for best movie. 

I am not happy having to write this ammendment and I hope I am wrong.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Golden Globerger

The 2011 Golden Globe nominations come out on Tuesday, December 14.  I would like to quickly put down my predictions on the nominations to see how close I come this year. I am only going to do movies because TV is boring this year.  The big question is whether they will consider the Kids Are Alright a comedy or a drama.  I have think they will consider it a comedy for the Golden Globes so Natalie Portman wins under drama and Benning under comedy.  Now there are a few others in each category I think have a shot but these are the ones I am going to guess. 

Best Motion Picture-Drama
The King's Speech
The Social Network
The Town
Black Swan

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Michelle Williams - Blue Valentine

Natalie Portman - The Black Swan
Jennifer Lawerence - Winters Bone
Nicole Kidman - Rabbit Hole
Hilary Swank - Conviction

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Coliln Firth - The Kings Speech
James Franco - 127 Hours
Mark Walhberg - The Fighter
Jessie Eisenberg - The Social Network
Aaron Eckhart - Rabbit Hole

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical
Julia Roberts - Eat, Pray, Love
Sally Hawkins - Made in Dagenham
Annette Benning - The Kids Are Alright
Julianne Moore - The Kids Are Alright
Anne Hathaway - Love and Other Drugs

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical
John C Reilly - Cyrus
Jake Gyllenhaal, - Love and Other Drugs
Paul Rudd - How Do You Know
Kevin Spacey - Casino Jack
Johnny Depp - Alice in Wonderland

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Melissa Leo - The Fighter
Amy Adams - The Fighter
Dale Dickey - Winters Bone
Helena Bohnam Carter - The Kings Speech
Miranda Richardson -Made in Dagenham

Best Performance by and Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
John Hawkes - Winters Bone
Sam Rockwell - Conviction
Christian Bale - The Fighter
Andrew Garfield - The Social Network
Geoffrey Rush - The King's Speech

Best Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical
Toy Story 3
Eat, Pray, Love
The Kids Are Alright
Love and Other Drugs
Made in Dagenham

Friday, December 3, 2010

24 Days Til Xmas: Tips from Jewz-A-Claus

Tip #2:  When mailing Christmas cards, you can save some money on stamps by just handing the cards to people who live near you rather than sending them in the mail.