You know the saying, "when it rains, it pours". That is usually how my life is; all of our lives are. When luck is on your side, things seem to always work out and when bad luck is on our side, things always look so bleek.
In my case this saying usually has something to do with the amount of stuff I have going on in my life which directly relates to my mood, which in turn directly relates to whether or not I become wildly depressed or overly critical of myself.
Lately, I have been feeling bored or boring. And I am thinking to myself, "what the fuck is everyone else doing???". People are always telling me how busy they are all the time. How they have plans, or they are so exhausted from the week or when I ask them to do something they have to check their calendars! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL THESE PEOPLE ARE BUSY DOING!
I can tell you one thing. I am not busy doing anything. If you want to hang out, I'm pretty sure I don't have to check my calendar because I am free which kind of makes me feel a little bit like a loser. I get home at 5:30 everyday and I just look around my apartment and think "now what? i have 6 hours until I am going to sleep." I don't want to bother people with texts or calls but truthfully I have plenty of time to talk.
This doesn't mean I don't like having some time to myself. I do. And I DO. In the past three months, I've seen most of the movies I've wanted to see, watched almost all the TV I've wanted and I'm read 14 books (5 which have been over 1,000 pages long). I've gone to a couple of musicals, I started a new diet, I've learned to cook and bake new foods, I've worked, I've reorganzied my entire apartment, I've payed all my bills and balanced my checkbook and I've purged my closet. And I'm still not busy. I still have plenty of free time to hang with people without having to check my calendar.
So I'll say this again. What is everyone doing that they are sooooo busy they can't make a plan with me for two weeks? I need to seriously add to my portfolio of friends because I'll tell you this much. I refuse to sit around all spring and summer having nothing to do and planning everything. I want people to do things with who will also call or ask me to do things too!!