Lying Lie-ers

You know who I can't stand? Lying liars. And the lying liars I am talking about here are people who say they don't watch tv! Lying liars. Or people who don't own a TV. Really? Liars. You know why? Because even if they don't own a TV, you know they are watching their favorite tv shows at work on Hulu or on their phone....or on you tube. Oh yes they are! So why don't you just admit you watch tv. Nobody cares and really we would think more of you if you did.

Catch me on a good second

I live with extreme highs and lows. Not bipolar extremes.....more like life extremes. I can go from annoyed to laughing my ass off within a two minute period. Oh wait...I am getting my period soon...must be it. Except, I am always like that! God damn son of a bitch! That's awesome...

Thank god I have a sense of humor to get through the maze of myself. Yesterday, I was walking to my car from work and I was thinking, "urgh. this place. urgh. these people" and then I saw someone from work and he looked sad and I was like, "awww....poor guy. I wish I could make him feel better."

It's a constant battle between my sarcastic wise-ass can't stand the world side and my unbelievable empathetic, caring and want to help the world side.

Macy's Confuses me Sexually

While I know I am a lesbian, there are still times when I have to question this. One such time is when I go to a department store, such as Macy's. That happened this evening. I walked into Macy's to buy a new black trench raincoat. I need something to wear when I dress up. I know that it is getting cold but I have enough pea coats and fleeces and ski jackets (although I don't ski) so I wanted a nice trench coat.

I walk in and the first thing I see is INC brand it is so pretty and girlie and I love it. Sparkles. I thought to myself..."I could wear this sequined shirt and black pants with heels for sure!".

Then I started walking towards the escalator looking for the coat section and I got to look in the mirror the whole way up. "Hello gorgeous". On the second floor were the coats and also the men's section. I walked through the men's section and found myself eyeing the shoes. Then I walked by a man-aquin...and I got turned on by his sexy hat and outfit. And I thought, "I could totally date a guy who dressed like that."

Then I passed by the outdoor men's section and started looking at the fleece coats and stopped myself because I wanted a trench. I found the trenches and the woman had to help me put the belt on because I couldn't figure it out.

I picked out a coat and paid for it and put it on right there in the store to walk out with it. On my way out, I passed the women's shoe department and looked at chucks! Then I found a Fossil red leather purse I wanted and cashmere gloves.

My gay man/straight woman/gay woman personalities all clashed! I had to get the hell out of there! With a fabulous black trench coat with my belt tied in a knot.

Things that annoy me #7857

When there is a store that closes, big or small; in a mall or standing on its own, that turns into a Halloween Annex. If there is a store that used to be somewhere but closes, you can pretty much guarantee that it will be a Halloween Annex which then in turn becomes a Christmas store in November that carries obnoxious ornaments and Santa figurines that belong in places that are actually called "The Christmas Tree Shop" not because they are Christmas-y but because they are trashy pieces of crap nobody but people in nursing homes need.

Self-Help

What does it mean when your new therapist of ony two weeks suggests a book for you to read that you already read about ten years ago for the same problem?

I am not sure if it is still in my bookshelf but I bet you there is a pretty good chance. I'll have to check that out tonight. It's called Peace Is Every Step. Maybe this will be the year I actually read and absorb. Read and absorb. Read and absszzzz................

Things that annoy me #5478

When you are working on getting packets out in the mail and you need addresses and people give you addresses with no zip code. Then I have to go look up the zip code. Why would you give someone an address without a zip code? Ever?

So You Think You Can Live?

So I am a HUGE fan of So You Think You Can Dance. I had tickets to go see Season 5 live but of course, because of a break-up, I had to forfeit my tickets this year.

And maybe I am seeing things a little different in life at this moment but what the hell is with this show taking things so seriously? I just watched the Vegas week auditions and I kept hearing things like, "DANCE FOR YOU LIFE" AND "THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU WILL DANCE SO DANCE FOR YOUR LIFE" AND "YOU AREN'T SHOWING ME THAT YOU CAN SURVIVE LIFE OR THIS AUDITION."

WTF?????? It's a dance show. It's pre-recorded. They already know who they are going to choose! Why are they making this out to be the ONLY thing these kids will have in life? Give it a few years dancers....you will be a guest judge on a stupid dancing show too.

Don't get me wrong. I love the show. But seriously....stop taking it so seriously!