So today has been interesting. It is almost 3 and I haven't done anything. Yet, somehow I still manage to keep it interesting. It started with a text. A text from my ex girlfriend. A text that said, "are you going to be around today. I (and please remember the I part) want to come by and pick up my boots."
I simply wrote back. "I am in and out. (which is a lie. I was laying in bed but didn't want my ex girlfriend to know that I was laying in bed doing nothing all day) and I'll leave them in the hall. When do you think you will be around?"
She then decided to write back this, which is the reason I am now officially out of bed. "WE have a few things to do. Maybe in an hour."
Now, if she would have just kept it simple and continued to say, "I", things would probably be fine. But oh no....she had to throw in the "WE", meaning her and her new girlfriend which I found out about via this text. Balls in my face. So, obviously, I had to write back, "what's with the we?" and she had to write back, "my new girlfriend. it's great. I am really happy."
I told her to fuck off and the boots would be on the street. Who does that? Who brings a new chick to her old girfriends house? Seriously? Low fucking blow.
Anyway, it got me thinking. She was never good enough for me. She drank so much and it hurt me so much. I was never attracted to her and she would have never fulfilled the things I need in a relationship. So, why is it that I care so much. Why is it that I am trying to hold onto a friendship with someone like that? Why? The thing is exes can't be friends. Now, if you date for a bit and it didn't work out, yes, I think a friendship can work. But, if you are in a relationship with I love yous and hurt and shit, I don't think a friendship is going to work out. And that is the chance you take when you get in a relationship. It is a huge chance.
But, when I made the decision to leave that relationship because it wasn't right for me, I took a big leap. A scary, big leap. I knew in my heart that I would be losing one of my closest friends but that was the chance I took. It is the chance we all have to take. It is hard. But, I don't want to compromise. I don't think you have to. There is no perfect relationship, but I truly want to be happy with someone. And as hard as it is to be alone. It's fucking harder to be with someone who makes you want to fucking die!
So....I think today's text was a good one. I managed to include one final sting. "I don't think I could deal with your drinking, even as friends". She is a major drunk so that one should hurt. And now, it's time to move on to 2009 and see what kind of fancy shit is going to happen this year.
Don't get me wrong. I'll miss her. But, no compromising. I say that do anyone who will listen.
Also, try not to throw your balls in people's faces. Especially a lesbian's face. I don't need balls in my face, literally or figuratively. So, if you are happy and you are my ex....let's just leave that ball in your glove shall WE!!