Oscar and The Couch Part 5!

Oscar and the Couch Part 5 – Laura’s 2009 Oscar Predictions (and yes film majors, I know it’s for 2008 films but it’s shown in 2009…okay?)

One week until we get to see double-Oscar nominee couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt walk down that red carpet together and say things to Ryan Seacrest like, “Being nominated is so not important to us. We have a loving family and Angie is the best mother. What we care about is the poverty in this world. My movie was really a dedication to New Orleans. We just want to be out of the film business.” My ass you do!!!

This has been an exceptional year for movies. Or should I say films. I wouldn’t want my film major friends to get upset. I can’t think of another year in a long time that it was so exciting to go to the movies and see such amazing work. That being said, why the hell weren’t those films nominated in the right categories???? I can’t even begin to describe how upsetting some of the nominees are this year for me. (Ummmmm. The Wrestler). So….here it goes.

Things to Watch out for:
1. A shit ton of standing ovations when Heath Ledger is mentioned.
2. A long and if I do say so myself, not funny, number from Hugh Jackman. Since when is it okay for People’s Sexiest Man Alive to be the Oscar Host?
3. Angelina Jolie rolling her eyes at the camera.
4. Kate Winslet crying.
5. Jai Ho winning best song and even though you won’t be able to see, Laura dancing in her living room when that happens.
6. A hush of the audience when The Reader clip is shown because there is always a hush when a Holocaust movie is mentioned. Even if Steven Spielberg didn’t direct it.
7. And my guess is Maggie Gyllenhaal giving the technical award this year.
8. Gold gowns with lots of up-dos and for some reason, I see lots of animal prints on purses. Not sure why.
9. A Bollywood number when they do the two songs from Slumdog. And let’s hope to god Beyonce doesn’t do the singing for this one this year. Love her but come on….
10. Mickey Rourke doing lines in the bathroom and missing his nomination. Much like Reene Z. at the Golden Globes. Sans the lines. Maybe…..

Actor in a Leading Role

Richard Jenkins in “The Visitor”
Now, I know most people did not see this movie. I don’t think it was out in the theatres for very long. I saw it on DVD a couple of months ago and immediately knew that he would be nominated for this. Obviously he will not win because this is the year for white trash nominations (Mickey Rourke and Marissa Tomei). But if he did win, I would be fine with that as long as Mickey Rourke didn’t.

Scene they will show when they announce his nomination: When he is at the prison and says, “You can't just take people away like that. Do you hear me? He was a good man, a good person. It's not fair! We are not just helpless children! He had a life! Do you hear me? I mean, do YOU hear ME? What's the matter with you?”

Frank Langella in “Frost/Nixon”
I think the Oscar folk are going to surprise us all this year and choose Mr. Nixon himself for the big statue. And I hope they do. There isn’t another actor in this category that deserves this award as much as him. The last time I checked acting meant that you don’t just play yourself (cocaine addict white trash piece of crap….Mickey Rourke). And that is exactly what Frank Langella did. He had Richard Nixon down from head to toe. The movie itself was something to be desired but his acting made the hair on my arm stand up straight. (Or was that the Soju I had before I watched the movie?) Seriously though, amazing. I really hope he wins. And he is the oldest nominee this year so that might not hurt his chances.

Scene they will show when they announce his nomination: One of two scenes. Either…when he is in the kitchen after one of his speaking gigs and says, “I didn't want to take any questions on Watergate!” or when he is on his final interview with David Frost and says “I'm saying that when the President does it, that means it's *not* illegal!” AND FOR THAT LINE ALONE, HE SHOULD WIN!

Sean Penn in “Milk”
Remember when Sean Penn won the Oscar for Mystic River? When he had that scene where he said, “Is that my daughter in there? Is that my daughter in there????” Yeah. That was awesome. Not to say that Milk isn’t also awesome. Because it was. But for me, it’s just one of those movies that was obviously going to be nominated for everything and I knew that the second I saw the trailer. I think Sean Penn did a terrific job in this film but I don’t think he will win. Not when we have such terrific talent such as Mickey Rourke pulling staples out of his back up against him.

Scene they will show when they announce his nomination: there are a lot of memorable
scenes in this movie but I am going to guess the one they kept showing in the trailers when he is talking to Dan White and he tells Harvey Milk that society can’t exist without the family and Harvey Milk says, “We’re not against that. No, but God knows we keep trying.”

Brad Pitt in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
I think this is the classic case of an actor just being too overexposed in his personal life to ever win an Oscar. AKA Tom Cruise. This was a great movie and Brad Pitt did a wonderful job. But this movie really only deserves a nomination in the Best Make-up and Best-Costume Design category. And maybe Cinematography. Oh wait, it did get nominated for all those. He won’t win. Which is good, because he doesn’t want to be in the film business anyway. Oh, and if we have to hear about why he has a mustache right now again, I might lose it. But what’s up with actors like him anyway? Him and Tom Hanks growing their hair out all the time for roles. Have we heard of a make-up department people? Or when you reach a certain acting “level”, it becomes disgraceful to do anything but “play the part completely.”

Scene they will show when they announce his nomination: definitely a montage. If ever there was a movie that deserves a montage, this is it.

And last but not least…..Mickey Rourke for “The Wrestler”
What do film majors like to say? Words like juxtaposition and genre? Well, I would like to juxtaposition my fist up against Mickey Rourke’s white trash genre for making me waste two hours of my time on this movie. What is up with this crap? Maybe this is generational. That is all I can think. I don’t really know anything about Mickey Rourke and his past movies but I know that this movie was one of the worst I have seen in years. Hands down! Was his acting good? I have no freaking idea? Because to me, he was just playing himself. He was cracked out in this film and it made me sick to my stomach to watch it. And did you see him on Oprah when he was skyping in…with his Pomeranian or whatever fluffy mess of a dog he was carrying? He is messed up! There are about five other actors that deserve this nomination more than Mickey Rourke and I think he might win this. Let’s hope not. But remember when the Oscar people gave the song from Hustle and Flow the award. This might happen again with this film. What????? I can’t even believe Leonardo was passed up for Revolutionary Road for this. Ridiculous.

Scene they will show when they announce his nomination: when he is talking to his daughter (Rachel Even Woods and the ONLY good thing about this movie) and says, “I am just a broken down piece of meat and I deserve to be alone. I just don’t want you to hate me.”

Actor in a Supporting Role: should I go through them all or just say Health Ledger?

Josh Brolin in “Milk”
Que? What? Huh? Excuse me? Pardon? Really? Why? Seriously….why? You are going to pass up actors in films like Slumdog and the father in Rachel Getting Married for him? I think the Oscar people just felt bad for not giving him the typical “play a president…get a nomination” nomination for his role in W. Because I don’t see a single reason why he should be nominated for this. James Franco. Totally. Emile Hirsch. Absolutely. But, Josh Brolin. No.

Scene they will show when they announce his nomination: this is hard. Maybe I switched this up and they will show him talking to Harvey Milk about reproducing. Either that or when he invites Harvey Milk to his son’s christening. It doesn’t really matter. They are going to show Diane Lane more than Josh Brolin anyway.

Robert Downey Jr. in “Tropic Thunder”
Amazing. I am so happy that he got a nomination for this. It is very hard to get a nomination for a comedy. Renee Zellweger got one for Bridget Jones Diary. I think if Heath Ledger didn’t die, Robert Downey Jr. would win this. He was so funny.

Scene they will show when they announce his nomination: when he says, “All right fellas, we're gonna make camp, rest up. Y'all might be in for a treat. You know back before the war broke out I was a saucier in San Antone. I bet I could collar up some of them greens, yeah, some crawfish out the paddy, yo'! Ha! I'm makin' some crabapples for dessert now, yo! Hell yeah, ha!”

Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Doubt”
Okay. Enough. I’ve had enough. I like this guy. I do. But enough. He mumbles. He looks like he hasn’t showered in two months. Is this a reason to get a nomination? I guess so. Mickey Rourke.

Scene they will show when they announce his nomination: I think they will either show him giving his sermon on gossip or show him in that one really powerful scene with Meryl Streep in her office. I think that is where he said this quote, “you have no right to act on your own! You have taken vows, obedience being one! You answer to us! You have no right to step outside the church!”

Heath Ledger in “The Dark Knight”
Obviously. He will win. And usually I would be upset that they would give an Oscar to an actor just because he died. However, in this case, he completely deserves it. He was haunting in this role. Every time he was on the screen, it was mesmerizing. He deserves this. And the 3 minute, 45 second standing ovation he will get when the director goes up to take the award on his behalf. No, Michelle Williams will not do that. They were divorced for gods sake.

Scene they will show when they announce his nomination: another montage. But they will show the pencil scene.

Michael Shannon for Revolutionary Road
Second to Slumdog, this was my favorite movie of the year and I can’t believe Leo and Kate were passed up for nominations. And I am not sure exactly why he is but I’ll take it! There is a very big pattern this year in nominated people with little to no lines in a movie. And what would a Laura prediction be without mentioning the lovely and talented Dame Judi Dench, who won for Shakespeare in Love with only like five minutes total in a movie. So, it’s possible to win. But, Heath is going to win.

Scene they will show when they announce his nomination: when he is in the living room laughing at April when he finds out she is pregnant.

Actress in a Leading Role
Anne Hathaway in “Rachel Getting Married”
She is my second favorite to win this award. As much as I would like to think she has a chance, I don’t think she does. The movie itself was a little slow but the scene where she did the toast at the wedding rehearsal dinner (you know…the 30 minute scene) was fantastic. Good for her for getting a nomination. Well deserved.

Scene they will show when they announce her nomination: when she is giving her speech. I wish they would show her at rehab or talking to her father about her baby brother but I don’t think they will.

Angelina Jolie’s Lips in “Changeling”
Did I say her lips? I must have accidentally written that. Or, maybe I wrote that because that is the only reason she should be nominated for this role. Talk about snorefest. This movie. Yikes. She was in basically every scene and in about basically every scene I think she said, “I just want my son back!” (insert quivering lips here). I am pretty sure that is the only thing she said. Hello…..she already won for Girl Interrupted when she played a woman in a mental hospital. Let’s give this to someone else. Plus, like her hubbie, she also doesn’t want to be in Hollywood. But, if she did win, do you think she would tattoo the latitude and longitude of where she was when she won the award on her arm?

Scene they will show when they announce her nomination: one guess. One of the scenes where she says, “I just want my son back!”

Melissa Leo in Frozen River
I won’t even take the time to discuss this. Didn’t see it. Won’t win. Don’t even know what scene they will show. The end. They gave this to her and not Kate Winslet in Revolutionary Road? I’m over you.

Meryl Streep in “Doubt”
What is this, her 23rd nomination or something? And this ladies and gentlemen, is the year she needs to win her third! This movie was kind of boring. And I think I would rather see it on stage but her acting was insane!! Hands down, of the nominees this year, she has to win and she will win. And let’s hope she does because she gives the BEST award speeches. And since we will be on hour three when she wins, we will need this.

Scene they will show when they announce her nomination: when she is yelling at scumbucket Philip Seymour Hoffman and says, “I have no sympathy for you. I know you are invulnerable to true regret. And cut your nails.”


Kate Winslet in “The Reader"
If this was for Revolutionary Road, I would say, hell yes she needs to win. But, alas, it isn’t. I think she did a great job in this film and I am huge Kate Winslet fan but I just don’t see a best actress award out of this. But it is really between Meryl Streep and her and since she did win the Golden Globe, I think she will be a close second.

Scene they will show when they announce her nomination: either when she is on trial and discussing what she did or when she is talking later in life and says “It doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter what I feel. The dead are still dead."


Actress in a Supporting Role: AKA The worst nominations in Oscar history!

Amy Adams in “Doubt”
Love this actress. I do. But really does she have to get a nomination every time she plays a cowardly woman with big blue eyes? I know when the Oscar people like a movie, they like to nominate every person in it. (Except Slumdog…no comment.) But this one, is just too much. She was good but she won’t win.

Scene they will show when they announce her nomination: some scene where she is mousy.

Penelope Cruz in “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”
I really loved this movie and I think of all the actresses in this category she did the best acting. Again, not best of the year but of the nominees, best of the best. She will win.

Scene they will show when they announce her nomination: when she is telling Scarlett Johansen (mmmmmmmm) that she went through her luggage.

Viola Davis in “Doubt”
She is the second in line to win. And I thought she would win when I saw the movie because the one scene she was in was so powerful and her acting was tremendous. I would be happy if she won but I don’t think she will.

Scene they will show when they announce her nomination: uhhh….the one scene she is in….my guess.

Taraji P. Hensen in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
Again, great acting. But a nomination? Don’t get it. Just don’t get it. I guess this is kind of like Sally Field getting a nomination for Forrest Gump. Would be the same exact thing actually.

Scene they will show when they announcer her nomination: I really have no idea. She is probably running around saying, “mmmm…huhhhh” and giving Brad Pitt a hug. Just a guess.

And of course….Marisa Tomei’s Tits in “The Wrestler”
So you are telling me that the sister in Rachel Getting Married was passed over for this woman???? Just like Mickey Rourke, Marisa Tomei was nominated for playing herself….a dated stripper. Ok, that might be a little harsh. But, she didn’t act in this movie. She hardly had any lines! She stripped! There wasn’t a single scene that should warrant a nomination. This is “In The Bedroom” part deaux. What is going on with the Oscar people? I am majorly disturbed by this nomination.

Scene they will show when they announce her nomination: I can’t think of a single scene that they could actually show. She was hardly in the movie. She didn’t act. I suppose they will show her saying, “I’m here. I’m real.”

Best Picture
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
I kind of get why this is nominated. It has great costumes, great makeup, great acting, great story, amazing cinematography (even though Slumdog’s was better). I’ll give this nomination to Benjamin. It won’t win though.

Frost/Nixon
I think this is nominated because of Frank Langella. He really just stole the entire film. The movie itself was just so-so. It won’t win. And I really hope it doesn’t because then we have to listen to Ron Howard.

Milk
I smell runner-up! Great acting (sans Josh Brolin) but is more of a SAG best picture. Not an Oscar best picture.

The Reader
Urgh. SPOILER ALERT!!!!!! Did people really not know what this movie was about? It’s called The Reader! Obviously, she is illiterate. And a Nazi. That doesn’t mean it should win for best picture. And can somebody tell the director or casting director or someone that it is NOT ok to give two parts to the same woman in one movie. I seriously felt like taking a bath after watching this. Not because I felt dirty but I just felt the need to take a bath.

Slumdog Millionare
This one is a slam dunk! No surprises here. Slumdog will win. Slumbdog should win. I am listening to the Slumdog soundtrack as we speak. If you haven’t seen this movie, go out right now and watch it. This is the movie that America needed. It is about love. It is about loyalty. It is about resiliency. I literally sighed out loud at the end of it the first time I saw it. I went to see it again after seeing the Wrestler just so I could get the bad taste out of my mouth. This movie will win it all….picture, director, cinematography, original score, original song and adapted screenplay.

Anyway, it’s a tough year to predict some of these categories. But to summarize:

Best Picture Should Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Picture Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Actor Should Win: Frank Langella
Best Actor Will Win: So help me god if Mickey Rourke wins...but tied with Frank Langella
Best Supporting Actor Should Win: Heath Ledger
Best Supporting Actor Will Win: Heath Ledger
Best Actress Should Win: Meryl Streep
Best Actress Will Win: Meryl Streep
Best Supporting Actress Should Win: Penelope Cruz
Best Supporting Actress Will Win: Penelope Cruz

ps....i mentioned god twice i think in my predictions. mickey rourke has resorted me to look to god! maybe he does deserve the nomination!