Laura Goldberg

Laura Goldberg

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


I've lived in my apartment for over 3 years.  I can't even believe this fact.  I've never done anything for that long in succession. Relationships, jobs, apartments. Actually, that's not true. I've owned a few pairs of boots for that long. 

What I am getting at here is that since I've lived in my place, I've had the most obnoxious upstairs neighbors.  My first year I had a guy who thought he was so cool but he looked like a chimpmunk.  I never saw him except for when he was taking his recycle bin out filled with empty beer bottles and pizza boxes.  He was loud.  He was rude. He was dirty.  Once, he even broke my front window by throwing a chair through it one night.  I didn't see him much after that. He moved out.

About a year ago, the newleywed couple moved in. I have yet to see both of them at the same time. I have never said hi or looked in their faces.  I wouldn't even know they exist except for 2 really annoying facts about them.

1.  They fight louder than any couple I have ever met.  Every night they fight. It is usually the woman doing most of the screaming.  I would seriously hang myself with a noose if this was my wife.  She is awful.  She screams when he comes home.  She screams when he goes out.  She screams about the TV, the car, everything you can imagine, she yells about. 

2.  They slam the door about 30 times a day.  They have yet to realize or maybe they do it on purpose, but every time they come down the stairs. Excuse me, pound up and down the stairs, they rattle my apartment.  Then they slam the door and then slam the other door.  I don't know where they are going. There are some mornings, I hear this slamming about 5 times in a row. Some nights, the same thing.  Sometimes I think one goes out and the other comes in just so they can slam the door.

I've turned into crazy lady with these neighbor. I sit on my couch and scream, "Don't slam the door!!"  I pound on the wall. One night I just opened and closed my door about 15 times just because I thougth I was going insane.  I know I am being passive but I can't stand them. I don't know whether I need to put a note on the door or what but it is getting worse lately.

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