I am always putting myself out on a limb with people. I embarass myself a lot. I try my hardest to make new friends and meet new people; and hope that eventually one of those new people could eventually turn into someone I date; or even *gasp* a healthy relationship.
The problem is I am starting to think that people are really not seeing how terrific I am; seeing myself the way I see myself. And isn't that what we learn about all the time on Oprah or Dr. Oz or self-help books or therapy or Seasame Street or whatever??? That we should love ourselves and then someone can then in turn love us.
But what happens when we do love ourselves and we do see ourselves as great people who deserve greatness is return but others can't? Or won't? Or just don't even really put any thought into it at all? Then what? Where does that leave us?
I'll tell you where that leaves me. I'm going to just start asking myself out on email and text messaging. And then when I receive that email and text message, I'm going to respond to it. If I am busy at the moment, I'll say something like, "hey laura! i'm swamped right now..I'll text you later." If I just don't think I am someone I want to talk to anymore I'll text back quickly, "hey, i just don't think the time is good to talk to you. But good luck to you." Or if I am interested in going out with myself I'll say, "hey laura, i'm psyched you wrote. it made me smile. can't wait to hang."
But I most definitley will not ignore myself if I text or email myself. This much. This much I know. I guess it comes from the place where if I want to talk to someone, I will communicate with them. If I want something, I will go for it. But I've also learned that if I don't want something, it makes it so much easier to just say I don't want that out loud too.
Dating wouldn't disappoint or be as hard if people could just be as open as me. Therefore, I should just date myself. Because I definitley want to date a girl with a belt buckle like this.
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