Business Cards

I decided today that I am going to make business cards to pass out to all the homeless people on the street who ask me for money when I am driving.  They always come and stand right next to my window at a red light and I have to sit there and seem like a real heartless bitch by not giving them any money.  So, to counteract that, I will pass out a card.  On the card, it is going to say,

Laura Goldberg

Worked in non-profit for ten years

Has worked for a homeless service provider even

Has NO money in her savings account

Has no 401K

Still drives the same car I had in college

I might even pass out a granola bar or some peanut butter crackers with the card if I am feeling generous.