1. I love jerky. I mean LOVE it. Like...going to go online to www.getmyjerky.com and buy lots of it.
2. It's okay to drink a whole milk caramel iced coffee frap thing when it means you get to walk by Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres when drinking it.
3. I actually kept my cool when I walked by Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres.
4. I love port.
5. Klonopin is dangerous. Klonopin, port and ostrich jerky together would be amazing. Klonopin, port, ostrich jerky, turkey jerky and ellena and portia together would be even more amazing.