Laura Goldberg

Laura Goldberg

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Everything I know I learned from the airport

1.  Somehow the woman sitting next to me at the gate managed to get her entire manicure kit through security at the airport in Maryland.  That shouldn't be a big deal for me, especially if she was carrying OPI nail color.  However, she then decided that it would make sense to get out her nail clippers and start clipping her nails while sitting ten chairs away from me.  I could hear every single clip of that freaking clipper.  I couldn't even believe she had the nerve to do that in front of everyone.  And then she had the nerve to file her names and start polishing them.  I think the nail color was red and and on the bottom of the bottle was called, bloody punch!  At least, that is what I thought it should be called.

2.  No matter how many times I fly, I can never get over the fact that people do not know how to find their seats and sit down properly when they board.  It never fails that I end up standing three rows away from my seat for about five minutes while the person in front of me takes his/her time loading his/her luggage above the seat.  Call me crazy, but is is so hard to have your ticket in hand, look at the seat number and then quickly walk to your seat? All you have to do is sit down and get your bag in order while you are sitting.  Or better yet, get out the book you need and the ipod and have it ready so when you get on the plane, you can just throw the bag up and sit the f down!

3.  Is it necessary to call everyone you know while the plane is getting ready to take off? I don't need to hear your conversations about last night's dinner and how he paid for everything.  It's called texting people!!!  Try it once in awhile.  It is an amazing invention because then I don't have to hear all of your conversations.

4.  Traveling alone is hard.  Not for the reasons you may think it is hard.  I could say traveling alone is hard because it is lonely or traveling alone is hard because it takes all day and it can be tiring.  Oh no....traveling alone is hard because there is nobody to sit at the gate and watch my bag while I go to the bathroom.  Today, I had an hour layover. My usual routine is I look at the board and make sure my gate is the same.  And then I walk to the gate and make sure it is really the right one.  At the same time I am looking around for the closest Hudson News to get my People magazine or some other place to get a snack.  (Usual suspects are Sbarros and McDonalds).  Today, I wanted a pretzel.  However, I also had to go to the bathroom.  I knew the bathroom was after the pretzel place but there was no way I was going to bring the pretzel into the bathroom with me (another traveling alone problem).  I looked ahead and of course what did I see but the five men standing at the credit card stand just waiting to pounce on me and tell me all about the free airline ticket I can get.  I didn't want to do it.  If I went to the bathroom and then got my pretzel I would have had to go by them three times!!  But I did and of course I got annoyed when I walked by.  Then I walked by again and kept my chin down and then I walked by a third time and just started eating my pretzel and looked VERY busy.  Free airline ticket my the time I finish paying the $200 annual fee charge, I could have flown across the country.  Well, not really, but I could have at least paid to get my luggage on. 

5.  I took public transportation home from the airport back to Watertown.  Shuttle to blue line, blue line to orange line, orange line to red line, red line to bus.  What I learned here were two things. 
1. I need more friends who don't work.
2.  Only foreigners offered to help me with my luggage.  

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