Laura Goldberg

Laura Goldberg

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Weigh In

When I have PMS, my obnoxiously large breasts get even bigger.  I hate it.  They hurt.  And I become obsessed (believe it or not...yes me obsessed) with picturing myself with smaller ones. All I can do is look in the mirror and imagine what life would be like if I could wear those tank tops you see at Express.  

I often wonder what they weigh.  I think five pounds each.  I am so upset with them right now, I actually got out my scale and tried to see if I could weigh them.  I just layed down on the ground a few minutes ago in my bathroom and put them on the scale but because it is digital it didn't work.  That or my scale was like, "loser, go eat your quesadilla and sit in bed a watch a movie and relax.  The last bitch that stepped on this thing would have killed for your body."  

That would be a good invention.  An honest scale. I'm going to work on that.

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